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February 6, 2011 by by Fiona Mae Alvero

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I come from an all-girl school. And yes, I am aware of how people would perceive us. In fact, I know it full well because what’s just a perception for outsiders is a truth that I encounter practically everyday of my life inside the school. And  unlike how people thought that it’s a taboo – well no, in school, it’s not. Actually, a little too far off.

For almost four years that I’ve spent in this kind of environment, I’ve slowly understood where these girls are coming from. Most if not all the time, I would end up keeping myself silent about this issue because rampant it may have become, it’s still a topic too sensitive to discuss.

So this might be one of the most sensitive blogs that I’ll write. I’m taking the risk. And at this point I would like to talk to all the girls out there – lesbians or not, homosexuals or not, blue or pink, it doesn’t matter. Think of this as like those conversations we usually have when we do sleepovers – heart to heart.

Before we start, I want to clarify that I’m not here to bash anyone. I’m here to tell you not my opinions, or that I’m right and you’re wrong, no. I want to say the truth. Here are the thoughts I’ve come up with regarding homosexuality or same sex relationship.

1. God loves you. Let me start with that. Yes I know, it sounds cliche. But whatever you will read on the next paragraphs, I want you to keep this in mind. And because God loves you, I do just the same. Do you think I’ll write this if I don’t?

2. Men and women are wired differently. Adam was created in the wilderness. Eve, in the garden. Men are wild at heart. Women are crown of God’s creation. We cannot mix up those roles. In a same sex relationship, one of the girls must have gotten the role of a man. We have to understand that man and woman are wired differently. The reason why the man pursues a girl is not because someone just started it up and viola! it became a tradition that we still follow until now. No. It’s because men are made and wired to pursue. Girls, you don’t pursue. You can’t pursue a guy. Not especially a girl. It’s like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You can’t put two same pieces of puzzles together, no matter how hard you try, it will never work. It takes a whole man and whole woman – wired differently – to make one relationship work.

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“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18

3. You are royal and chosen. I remember when I was in grade school, we had arts class and whenever we create art crafts, our teacher would choose the best artwork and she would post it on our bulletin board. My artwork was chosen one time and it felt great. No one can take away that feeling from me. I felt special. I felt important. I felt I was deserving. Girls, let me tell you this, come on!!! You are special, you are important and you deserve to be treated well. You are chosen. And you don’t have to settle for anything less because you deserve better. And even if you say she gives you more than what you deserve, you still get less because you chose to be in a relationship that gives you less of who you ought to be.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9

4. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Max Lucado was once telling in one of his books that there was a time he went out of the county and checked in a hotel. One morning he decided to jog and since he wasn’t well familiar of the place, he chose to jog just around the place where his hotel was to avoid getting lost. After he jogged, he went back to the hotel. When he entered the hotel, he saw a breakfast buffet and ate, then he passed the hallway to his room and when he got to his room, he couldn’t open the door. Then he realized he was in a different hotel! He told in his book how “right” it felt when he entered the wrong hotel. Oh feelings. Sometimes we like to determine what’s right with our feelings. Love is a choice, it’s not a feeling. And love, it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Sometimes we know the truth, the right thing to do, yet we still go on in doing the wrong thing because it feels right, right? If it does not rejoices with the truth, it’s not love. Not at all.

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

5. It’s temporary. And we don’t live for temporary things. I’ve heard girls who are in girl-to-girl relationships telling that they want to get married to a guy someday, who gets kilig when they talk about their ideal guy, who wants to have kids of their own someday. If you see yourself married to a guy in the future, then why do you have to be in a relationship that will go nowhere someday? Think of an instance in your life that made you say phrases like “Edi parang useless din yung ginawa ko,” “Sayang lang yung binili ko, meron na pala,” “Nagsayang lang ako ng oras, sana hindi nalang ako pumunta dito.” Sounds familiar? We say these when we realize that we’re doing something that’s pointless, because we found out that it won’t last, or we could’ve done something else more worth our time, or it’s unnecessary. If you want to have a husband, somewhere there you’ll have to break up with her, and it might only cause you unnecessary hurt.Avoid that.

6. Who sets your standards? Just because it’s the culture doesn’t mean you have to fit in. If everyone’s doing it, does it make it right? No. Don’t let the culture define you.

“Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.” – 1 John 2:15

7. You have a story to tell. You can overcome, my dear. Dennis Sy, in one of his blogs, wrote this:“Don’t believe the lies. Once a homosexual, will always be one or it’s in my genes. No conclusive study has been made about this…. Don’t think it’s too big to overcome.” Don’t let yourself believe that since you’ve been there for quite a while now means you’re stuck there forever because believe me, there’s a way out.

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” – 1 John 4:4

8. Let’s face it, it’s a sin. Sorry but I have to say this. Quoting Dennis Sy again “Nobody is born a homosexual. No baby comes out of the womb and cries Uh- wah, uh wah. Homosexuality is a choice. As much as a traumatic past can be a good reason to be homosexual it does not excuse us from choosing not to be.” The bad news is, it’s a sin. And the Bible says that sin leads to eternal death. But wait, don’t leave. You don’t want to end reading a bad news, do you? Because there’s a good news. Turn to the next number.

“For the wages of sin is death…” – Romans 6:23

9. God loves you. Now let me explain this further. Have you heard in the news about the car dealers who were put to death? If not, let me tell you that they died of gunshots in the head and the carnappers didn’t feel satisfied they cut off some of their body parts and burned them using kerosine and rubber tires. Absurd!!! No heart!!! How about the news about the man who was whipped using sharp metals until his skin in the back was almost scrapped off? Then they spat on his face, mocked him, then they crucified him. More absurd! What’s even more absurd is that he actually let them do it to him only for the sake of the people like you and me. He wasn’t even supposed to experience such treatment. He was in pain yet he did it anyway. He died for you. He died because of his love for you. Then he rose up from the dead. That’s how much love you’re deserved of. God gave His son Jesus to die on the cross for you. I hope it’s more than enough for you to believe now that you’re something more worthy of what you think you are. This is the whole point. And this is the truth. I hope you’ll choose to live with it.

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“…but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 6:23

10. God is not after our past. No matter how dark your past is, God can redeem that. He doesn’t look at what we did before, and He certainly doesn’t define us by what we did in the past. If you feel like you have a dark past, or you’re afraid to step out where you are right now because there’s been a big damage done, guess what, it doesn’t matter because God can give you a new heart. You can start afresh, you just have to trust what Jesus did on the cross. :) And if you want to make that decision, I’d be glad to know. You don’t have to do it alone, there are people out there who are willing to help you out. :)

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“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” – Acts 3:19

PS. Again I want to clarify that I don’t mean to bash anyone. If you feel I’ve offended you in one way or another, or you think I’ve said something wrong in this blog post, you can email your concerns at fiona.alvero@gmail.com. Thank you! :)

02.07.2011 3:34am

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